Coal Wars
May 11, 2008 | Uncategorized
~Hi! Sorry for being so late with the story. Here is the epilogue for Coal Wars… or is it prologue… I think its prologue.
Prologue
The forest sighs as the wind brushes against the leaves of its trees and clouds whisper as they are carried through the sky. Waters of a lake slap against the cold rock of the dark dewfilled night. But not all is peacfull, for in the mountains, something is stirring. This is the world of Eleenta, but the lush green fields will soon drip scarlet, and the sky will grow coal black.
Hope you like it!!!!!!!!! =”=~
3 Responses to “Coal Wars”
Okay, Jordan, here’s Uncle Bill’s editing:
The forest sighs as the wind brushes against the leaves of its trees and clouds whisper as they are carried through the sky. The lake [w]aters slap against the cold rock of the dark, dew[y] night. But not all is peac[e]ful, for something stir[s] in the mountains. This is the world of Eleenta, but the lush green fields will soon be covered with scarlet, and the sky will grow coal black.
By bill on May 11, 2008
Here is my editing:
The forest sighs as the wind brushes against the leaves of its trees, and clouds whisper as they are carried through the sky. The lake waters slap against the cold rock of the dark, dewy night.
Not all is peaceful. Something stirs in the mountains. This is the world of Eleenta, but the lush green fields will soon be covered with scarlet, and the sky will grow coal black.
Just me. Otherwise, Jordan. It is a very interesting beginning, and I’m anxious to read more. BTW you are an excellent reader. Yesterday in Primary, you were far and away the best reader in the class, but you must NOT brag about that to anyone. Understood? For one thing, you are one of the oldest. You and Caitlin.
By mother on May 12, 2008
LOVE it Jordan. I already want to know more!
By maria on May 18, 2008