I have sound
April 22, 2008 | Check-in
for some reason the sound finally came back to my computer, so I was finally able to listen to all of the talks from conference. I am so grateful for this and i love my prophet and I hope all the family knows how lucky they are to be able to listen to conference. In the days of King Benjamin , talks had to be written. We are so lucky in this day to hear our Apostles and Prophet immediatly. Praise to Our Lord!! My hope is that this year my family will really learn to love the Lord and really understand how much he loves us. It is a love we will never comprehend in this life, but he will show us if we want to know
8 Responses to “I have sound”
How I wish I had worked on learning to love the Savior years and years ago, when I had a chance to be a better mother. There I go, Bill. I can easily slip into that mode of being so sorrowful for the way things came about.
Luis shuts me up if I mention anything of the past. He dwells only in the present, and looks to the future. We made our mistakes. We are still paying for those mistakes. We have reaped what we sowed, and we continue to reap, down into the next generation. We only have four grand-children active in the church. They are Jordan, (who will soon be baptized), Teyla (only 3 1/2),
Lily, 5 1/2, and Ben, 2 or 3 (I can’t remember). We may not be alive when Ben finally turns nineteen in about sixteen years, and is ready to serve his mission. There were some wonderful grandsons that I lament over if I shift into that gear (and I shift right out of it), because it is past. They did not serve missions. They never will. Well, there is time for a couple of them to get ready, and I do pray with hope in my heart.
So, Bill. I do know exactly how you feel, and you, too Lainie. The pain can be excruciating. Take it to the Lord. Unburden yourself.
The temple helps me so very much. I love working there. It’s such a peaceful place. Inside, I’m sheltered.
Try to go to the temple as often as possible.
By mother on Apr 22, 2008
Mom, you never left your kids in the lurch, you never ignored our needs to tend to your own, and you strove to do the best you could with what you knew.
Can’t say that in my case.
Sorry.
By bill on Apr 22, 2008
I just talked to Casey , I fell apart. I told her how much I loved her. I can’t believe how much it hurts, or how much I can’t tell my children how much I love them.
By lainie on Apr 22, 2008
I guess it’s impossible for any of us to tell our children how much we love them.
In my case, I realize the words ring quite hollow. “If you really loved us, then why…?”
By bill on Apr 22, 2008
BilL you and I were chosen to be the oldest son and daughter of this family. You are obviously much smarter then I in brains.But, when I was given my patriarchal blessing in Utah in 1980 I was blessed with wisdom and the power of disernment so I have always known what was right and wrong.The Lord has his reasons for making you and I the oldest son and daughter of this family. Lets be the patriarchs…there is a reason that life isn’t easy for us brother..lets put Christ first always. lets love him with all our heart
By lainie on Apr 22, 2008
Bill, I love you. Christ loves you more than I could even understand, I pray that you could sleep tonight and feel his love.
By lainie on Apr 22, 2008
That sounded weird, “more than I could understand” ;(
By lainie on Apr 23, 2008
Bill, our family was a broken one already, when Luis came along. Damage had already been done to my Polhemus children. I will never really know just how deep it was, but I know that two little boys missed their father very much, and two little girls got ignored, because their mother just didn’t have the time or energy for babies.
That’s going back too far, now. That really is the past. We can’t use any of that for excuses. But you can’t continue to beat yourself up for the rest of your life. Neither can I. Scratch would love for us to do just that. For us to think of nothing all day, and to dwell on nothing all day, except our lousey mistakes that we know full well me made, and we’re paying a price for. We do reap what we sow. No, Bill, i never left my children in a lurch in one way, but when all of you were little, I did it in another way. And then, after I married Luis, I had struggles that nobody but the Lord and me know about. Struggles that have lasted up until this very day. I still fight. But it’s a war I must win, and I will win it, because I’m determined that I won’t give Satan the satisfaction of destroying me.
Don’t let this destroy you. Pray continually from now on. Read your scriptures daily….and keep the commandments. Plead for forgiveness daily, and partake of the Sacrament weekly. Attend the temple as often as possible. When you serve there, and you go out of the doors…you are sin free for at least a few minutes, until you turn on the radio and hear Sean Hannity’s rant, and the real world hits you in the face again. It’s just not easy…this whole business of mortality. I’m almost sorry I got all nine of you into it, but I guess if I didn’t do it, somebody else would have.:)
By mother on Apr 23, 2008